Friendships: Are They For a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime?

Many of us struggle with friendships; particularly the ones that end abruptly or fizzle out for no reason.

If you are one of the lucky ones who has never had a difficult friendship, or even one that has come to an end, then good for you! Are you a unicorn? (Ha!)

For the majority of us we will, at some point in our lives, experience friendships that come to an end. And this can be an incredibly upsetting, confusing or just plain weird occurrence.

As most friendships are based on trust and mutual appreciation with another human being, they are mostly positive and enriching parts of our lives. Friendships bring joy and pleasure into our lives. They offer relief from the toils of life, much needed support and guidance, sometimes they even take the place of family. Friendships often form a fundamental part of our daily lives.

Why Do Friendships Last For A Reason Season Or A Lifetime

How do we cope when some friendships seemingly come to an end? It can be incredibly upsetting or confusing experience.

I have found that a great strategy to cope with this is to think about the following phrase:

Friendships are for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Think about it.

Look back at the various friendships you have had in your life. I bet you could fit them into one of the three categories above.

What does this mean?

Friendships for a reason are often those people who come into our lives to teach us a lesson or bring a message that the universe needs us to hear. Perhaps they can help us move forward with something? Maybe they enhance a certain project? Maybe they teach us something that was missing from our personality or offer a new perspective on life?

Friendships for a season are the people who are present due to circumstances at that particular time in your life. These are often school friends, neighbours, work colleagues or project peers. For the most part, your friendship is solely down to circumstance and environment.

Friendships for a lifetime are the people who are long-term friends. They are the ones who will be there for you no matter what. They are often the ones with whom you can go months (or even years) without speaking to but still pick up exactly where you left off. They are the ones that just ‘get’ you. These are the long-term friendships that can go through challenges but still founded on mutual love and respect.

how to cope with friendships ending

The majority of friendships probably fall into the top two categories – reason or season. By definition these friendships aren’t bound to last for a long period of time. Very few of us have a large number of friendships that class as the last category, lasting a lifetime.

When we consider the changing nature of friendships as entities that are constantly evolving, starting and ending, we can begin to find our peace and appreciation for them. 

Friendships will start and end many times over in our lifetime. When we come to terms with that we can find a place of love for ourselves that isn’t hinged on the approval or quality of the people around us.

We can ‘know’ that the transient nature of friendships is a strength. AND we can take a look at just where those people fall within the reason, season or lifetime model.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Could you apply this reason, season, lifetime model to your friendships (past and present)? 

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Friendship for a reason season or lifetime

12 Comments
  • Planet Jodie

    Reply

    Suppose i could apply this to my friends. I believe the friends i have are ones i will have for lifetime as not always pressure to speak but feels good when we do 🙂 x

  • Erin Ek Rush

    Reply

    This is a nice way to look at it. Sometimes friendships just evolve and change through no fault of anyone’s.

  • Jess

    Reply

    This is such a nice way of looking at friendships and a great way to kind of take the pressure off ourselves – it can be so easy to beat ourselves up for falling out of touch with people who were only meant to be “friends for a season”, for example 🙂 Lovely post!

  • Sarah

    Reply

    This is a nice way of looking at it. Although I feel the majority of my friends are for a reason, or a season. xx

  • Rachel

    Reply

    OOh an interesting way of looking at friendships hun, I think in my lifetime, well so far, I have entered all three camps x

  • Helen

    Reply

    This is such a good way to look at friendships. I can definitely apply this to all my friends past and present. I’m very lucky to have a good group of lifetime friends.

  • Ickle Pickle

    Reply

    This makes so much sense, and I think is very true. I have struggled with losing some friendships in the past but this does make sense to me. Kaz 🙂

  • Leigh at Fashion Du Jour LDN

    Reply

    I think this post is very true – when you can define the nature of a friendship it will help you deal with it whether it ends or fizzles out. The longest relationship we have is after all with ourselves,so our friendships shouldn’t undermine our happiness or health.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Leigh at Fashion Du Jour LDN x

  • Kacie Morgan

    Reply

    I think it’s natural for some friendships to come and go. I don’t have many friends compared to when I was younger, but everything happens for a reason I believe.

  • Siobhán

    Reply

    I have had some deep friendships which were for a season or reason. I also have some that seem to have stick around for major life changes, living in different places and not being in even slightly similar life stages. I cherish those. I am so lucky to have the friends I have.

  • Britt Mont

    Reply

    Not everyone is meant to last an entire lifetime but those that come in seasons are just as impacting. People change, life moves on and not everything stays the same. I think that accepting that is just part of being an adult.

    http://www.othersideof25.com/

  • Karis | SYT.

    Reply

    Great post and I have to agree with the other comments. It’s a nice way of putting it. I have struggled to deal with a rocky friendship before, ending out of the blue and then popping back again, and sometimes it has been just plain weird. New follower to your blog *waves hello*

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